I’m not really sure how I’m feeling lately.
Or maybe I do know and just don’t know how to explain it?
It’s like I’m in a funk that I can’t get out of.
And no matter what I do this funk that I’m in stays.
You know, I’ve had to do some things to help with this funk.
Some of you may find it to be wrong and some of you may understand.
I had to cut out a couple of family members.
My mom and grandma.
They were part of this funk and stress that I felt.
Always tearing me down. making fun of me for having financial problems,
talking trash on my dad, and the worst of all would have to be how they said I was taking advantage of them.
I finally said, “no more.”
So yeah, since the beginning of January I cut them out.
The sad thing is that my mother doesn’t think she did anything wrong and that I’m the bad guy.
But, to be honest, I’ve been better off.
My work life has been stressful as well.
People have been purposely trying to get me in trouble for things.
One who I thought was my friend of two years now.
She didn’t stand up for me, and she was also talking trash about me.
It’s a long story.
But, it’s funny how I’m the one getting trouble for all the stuff that she actually does.
Needless to say, I quit talking to everyone in my department, stick a headphone in my ear and call it good.
I just recently started talking again. But I don’t trust her, plus another girl in the department.
Stressful and drama.
By talking less and keeping to myself it has made my stress a lot better.
But, I still don’t feel happy there.
How can I love what I do, but feel so miserable at the same time?
Another thing that has helped with stress?
Well, I don’t really talk to my sons father anymore.
I mainly just talk to the step mother.
She actually answers when I text or call.
She’s also the main one taking care of my kid.
Taking him to appointments, taking him to school, teaching him new things, etc.
We also have hung out a few times now.
Which we actually get along real well.
I’ve never disliked her, I just know that she doesn’t fully know the truth about things.
Even my best friend said, “she has to know that he’s been lying to her, because why would she be hanging with you and plus, getting along so well?”
She has to have realized something by this point.
All I can say to that is, “maybe she has, but I won’t ever ask.”
Ever since I quit talking to him, the stress has pretty much gone away.
But yet, here I am still in a funk.
I feel it has to be my financial situation.
The fact I can’t get a house, or even a two bedroom apartment.
My account has been going negative for almost a month now.
My job doesn’t pay enough, but yet I can’t find something else that I’m interested in.
I don’t think I’ll ever fully be happy until I figure out this job situation.
So, maybe I do know why I am in a funk.
My job.
Money.
Laptop is working again. This is kind of like a little life update, The usual stress, job, life, etc. Hope you guys enjoyed and are doing well! ❤
victoriabruce 