Job update

Good evening! So, I actually ended up recording myself a bit talking. Which, I did for the morning and kind of forgot to do the rest of the day…hah. So enjoy me explaining about going for my screening for a new job and some music at the end.

Admire

You ever just stare?

Stare at the one you love and question, “why the hell does he love me?”

You stare and just admire all the little things he does.

The way he smiles, his deep laugh he lets out during funny parts of movies, or when you see him kind of glance over for the slightest second…

Your heart melts.

It pounds so fast because all you can do is admire him.

You think about your future together.

You think to yourself about how you can’t wait til he asks you to be his wife.

Or how much in a rush you are to have a kid already.

Because it all feels so right.

You feel all of this with just a simple look at him.

It’s perfect.

You ever just catch yourself staring and thinking how fucking lucky you are to have him in your life?

That he’s all yours, and you want him to be yours, always, and forever..

When you stare over at him and he’s doing his usual goofy dance,

And you can’t help but giggle at how silly he is.

When we’re doing our own thing together and I look and stare at you,

And there you are, playing your video game.

God, the excitement I get when I just fucking stare at you…

As I write this blog this instant.

Honestly, I’m not great at explaining my feelings, I’m so repetitive it’s insane. It’s like I try to explain how I feel, but every time it’s the same repetitive shit I always say. And there’s just no other way of saying how I feel out in some sort of different form. Like if I could legit say how much I love this man I would. Hell, I can’t even tell him how much because, well, every time I do try, I end up saying the same damn thing. It’s like, I can think it, but I can’t explain it. If that makes any sense.?

I’m very new to this whole, being “in love” thing. I never have been, and the moment I met him I knew he was the ONE for me. I don’t even know how to explain that. I just knew it, felt it.

I’m honestly not sure what else to say. Even when I have been drinking writing is still tough. Haha.

Thanks for reading guys. ❤️

Overthinker

Drinking away,

Kind of starting to feel the alcohol.

And all I do is think.

Sometimes maybe even overthink?

Overthink for no reason.

Like everything just all hits at once,

And it’s like what the fuck?!

I think of one thing, and move on to the next.

It’s an endless line of things running through my head.

I try to block away all the negative things, but it all just comes crashing back to me.

So I think until I overthink, to the point that I’m worried.

It’s like, my mind is playing games on me…making me overthink things when I shouldn’t..

Alright, I am for sure an over thinker. I always have been. Sometimes I just catch myself overthinking. Constantly, just thinking of anything and everything. I guess it goes along with anxiety.

Yet again, another unfinished blog that I had started I think back in September?

My overthinking has been a lot better. Yes, it’s still here and there. I try hard to talk myself out of overthinking. It’s hard but I’m trying.

Thanks for reading.❤️