Happy New Years!

I’m just going to be honest..I did absolutely nothing for New Years other than binge watch the second season of YOU. Oh, and drank some wine! Spent time with a Vinnie and the boyfriend! Hope you guys had an awesome night and awesome new year! ❤️

Overthinker

Drinking away,

Kind of starting to feel the alcohol.

And all I do is think.

Sometimes maybe even overthink?

Overthink for no reason.

Like everything just all hits at once,

And it’s like what the fuck?!

I think of one thing, and move on to the next.

It’s an endless line of things running through my head.

I try to block away all the negative things, but it all just comes crashing back to me.

So I think until I overthink, to the point that I’m worried.

It’s like, my mind is playing games on me…making me overthink things when I shouldn’t..

Alright, I am for sure an over thinker. I always have been. Sometimes I just catch myself overthinking. Constantly, just thinking of anything and everything. I guess it goes along with anxiety.

Yet again, another unfinished blog that I had started I think back in September?

My overthinking has been a lot better. Yes, it’s still here and there. I try hard to talk myself out of overthinking. It’s hard but I’m trying.

Thanks for reading.❤️

Whiskey&Coke

Friday night shenanigans.
6-7 American honey whiskey & Coke. (Btw didn’t get drunk at all, I was the dd for my girl Nicole who is in the picture above^)
Drunk&feeling it.
Majestic Tim. ( Nicole’s best friend, he’s a cool dude.)
When you get forced to be in a picture. (My friend is in the middle, Nurixi), and the girl in the white pants is one of her friends.

Let’s try to write a happy blog…

Good evening! Hello, to all my lovely readers. So I decided to ask a friend what I should write about? To basically give me an idea on what I should write. Well, he told me instead of writing a depressing one, what about a happy one? Well…here I am..ready to write a happy blog. Let’s begin shall we?

Oh jeez, what is something that has made me happy lately? Well, Vincent’s dad bought a house in Jackson. That’s a plus. I really want Vincent to go to school in Jackson and finally!…he’ll be going there. I am super stoked!

Hrm…what else has made me happy? My son for sure. He always makes me happy. Seeing him makes me happy. Spending all my time with him makes me happy. I wish I saw him every week. Of course though, his dad and I do 50/50. So every other week for us it is. Seeing him grow makes me happy as well. He’s so smart for his age, and he’s starting to become independent…come on child you’re only two calm down!

Wine….wine makes me happy.

Honestly, lately, I’ve been pretty annoyed by friends and family. I don’t know what it is. It’s like, leave me the fuck alone. I want to be lonely and drink my wine. Watch my anime as well in peace. There’s only been ONE person that I have honestly loved talking too..maybe too much. (Vinnie does not count, I’m never annoyed by him, unless he’s being a butthead). So, uh yeah, it’s strange, but, pretty awesome…

That’s about all I got for right now, enjoy this short read guys!

Thanks for reading. ❤️

Enjoy this video of us at the farmers market. 😊

Drunken thoughts on being alone

Holy shit….

I’m single,

Finally, by myself once again

Honestly, it’s amazing!

I found myself unhappy during this relationship..

Why?

I was no where near ready for one.

I honestly let the things he said crawl into my head and convince me that I could try and see how things would go.

I just wanted to be alone.

Be alone, focus on me, my son, our life

I enjoy being alone,

I don’t have someone up my ass 24/7

Telling me what I can and can’t do.

I feel free.

Honestly, my relationship before that,

Just really fucked with my head,

The fear of someone appearing into my life and my sons life,

And out of nowhere just fades away…scares me..

It’s better this way, to wait, to focus on myself and my son,

I can do better,

I can find better,

Someone who will want to be with me and my son,

Love both of us,

As of right now though?

It’s me and my son against the world.

Thanks for reading. ❤️

Thoughts on a drunken walk alone

Do you ever feel lonely?

Walking by yourself and you’re fucking drunk to be quite honest

You’re shit faced,

Walking by yourself in the dark,

And you have absolutely nobody..

Do you ever feel that the guy you still love, I don’t know,

Maybe he’s completely over you already?

Or maybe it’s just the alcohol?

Do you ever feel like you’re fucking alone?

Yeah, I mean, I got my son, he’s all I need.

But..shit, shits been hard,

You stay to yourself.

I still love you, but does he still love me?..

Fucking shit faced and you don’t remember a god damn thing you said tonight.

What the fuck, who do I call?

4:30 in the mother fucking morning and I’m sitting in my car

I think, ” why not making a fucking blog?”

Life’s not fucking perfect, life’s hard, but it will get better…

I can’t lie, I got fucking trashed last night, I repeatedly called one of my friends and I pissed him off. I have no clue what I said or if from repeatedly calling just pissed him off. I mean come on I was trashed..I’ve dealt with friends like that and yeah it sucks. I have no memory of what I even said, other than asking for a fucking ride maybe? Other than that, I’m lost. I called my ex as well repeatedly, and my roommate. They both understood. Thank god. Life is messy. Sometimes we humans get messy too. But don’t beat yourself up, you’re only human. For the record I NEVER get trashed. Last night though, I just let loose. For my ex we did see each other for the first time in almost two months since the breakup. We talked, laughed, and smiled. But in my heart I know this is the best for us. For my roommate, she made me bacon.

Thanks for reading.❤️